Scottie's Week Four 2020 Power Rankings
THIS GUY SLEEPS AT HEB | 3-1W/L | 460PF
Imagine dropping a 150-burger with CMC and Mahomes on the bench. Spooky SZN is here.
My goodness, the king is back. Even without Patrick Mahomes and Christian McCaffrey, this dude yeeted Trondheim into oblivion with a season-high 155 points. Kareem Hunt is looking like the steal of the draft right now with Nick Chubb out for a significant amount of time. Jerrick McKinnon is reliable. I can't find a weakness here. Clearly, the football gods have accepted the Arkansas State sacrifice because everything is going Crams's way now.
FEED ME 🥄 | 3-1W/L | 467PF
Sounds like Mark should have played better defense.
Man, what a heartbreaking week. John must have watched hours of anime at church to pull out this dub against a top team having a great week. Dak Prescott is a monster right now, and I'd never have expected him to be the number two quarterback. Mark has some solid pieces right now, but I'm a bit concerned about depth. With Nick Chubb out for a while, his running back situation went from great to a bit suspect. JK Dobbins has been fading away like he got Thanos snapped. For that reason, I think his team will trend down. Make no mistake; I'm not counting this team out.
Court is Not in Sutton | 2-2W/L | 461PF
Caleb's team is officially good. After four weeks, I'll freely admit that I was very wrong about the reigning Sacko's roster. He'd probably also be 4-0 if he wasn't number two in points against. The Le'Veon Bell pickup could be huge if he ends up performing anywhere close to his previous self.
🏆‼️ | 4-0W/L | 447PF
I'm a Mark Ingram hater. I think he's the most likely number two doo doo ass running back behind Mixon.
Tarv's points against looks like he played the SEC's FCS-heavy out of conference schedule. Kenyan Drake's points are receding into nothing like my hairline. He's (#33) only two spots ahead of Mark Ingram (#35) right now. Josh Allen and Dalvin Cook are carrying this team. Tyler Lockett has been a home run hitter. If any of them has a bad week, there's not much else on this team that excites me. It looks like this team might be falling back down to earth. It definitely wouldn't be the first Aggie collapse in the month of October against actual competition.
These rankings are trash | 2-2W/L | 404PF
Carlough left more meat on the bone than I do when eating wings. SAD! I'll also admit that this is another team I was wrong about. Apparently, you can start two dogshit running backs and a slew of wide receivers to win. I'm curious if Carlos will even read this because he's been a ghost since I handed him this big, fat L. This game officially settles that my girlfriend is way hotter than his.
Glizzy Guzzlers | 2-2W/L | 416PF
Has anyone started Matthew Stafford and won that week? I'm too lazy to look, but what I'm saying is that he's a lousy quarterback. Despite an okay performance from him and a three-touchdown game from a Waiver Wire God-esque pickup, his team was garbage this week. Travis Kelce put up average tight end numbers, and Callen's RB2 is heading to IR. I trust Callen to work some magic, but I see this team trending down while Austin Ekeler is out unless Devonta Freeman turns out to be a startable RB2.
Suburban Djentrification | 3-1W/L | 376PF
Calvin Ridley is a fantastic metaphor for this team. K-Man entered week four with high expectations only to disappear like Michigan when they face a ranked opponent. The only difference is that this team pulled out a miracle win, unlike Harbaugh against Ohio State. This team has been consistently playing worse and worse. K-Man's points for and points against looks like a typical B1G game where the final score is 9-6. I don't know how both of these values are so low. This team doesn't deserve to be 3-1, and certainly didn't deserve to win this week. All this said, I think K-Man's team will trend up, and he'll capitalize on starting with a generous record.
The Mixon Administration | 2-2W/L | 387PF
Of course, Joe Mixon and Odell Beckham Jr. each have three-touchdown games for John when Russell Wilson has a 'down week' to beat a team much better than his.
Don't trade with John.
Uncle Cral's Little Dogs | 2-2W/L | 363PF
Two weeks later, I still have no idea what the hell this team is other than not good right now. However, I expect that this team will trend back up when Carl's good players come back. His bench is dummy talented.
My gf an MD, yours an RN | 1-3W/L | 356PF
Much like Oklahoma after the Red River Shootout, I didn't expect to be 1-3 after four weeks. I don't want to say anything nice about my team because the fantasy gods don't seem to like that. However, the Waiver Wire God is back! I pulled a 100-piece out of dire straits against my archrival. With Derrick Hennesy coming back, my team should theoretically trend up.
BLM’s Milwaukee rep | 0-4W/L | 368PF
I thought I was dead last in the league and then checked standings. Not in the basement after all.
Do you want a trophy for being the 11th best team? The only reason you're not last is that we drafted for you.
Zug My Balls | 0-4W/L | 335PF
This Texans team is directly correlated to my ass, my dude fantasy performance. They should fire Brandin Cooks too.
This team is about as depressing as living in The Woodlands. Logan's roster is about as appetizing as his shitty, suburban dining options. Which will happen first: Logan moving back inside the 610 Loop or his first win? Neither seems likely in the immediate future. In the meantime, all Logz can do is live, laugh, and love and go to Chili's for that sweet two for $20 deal.