Callen's Week One 2020 Power Rankings

Manhattan (KS) Miracles | 1-0W/L | 99PF

Chris’s team is just going to be this good all year. Barring an injury to Mahomes or CMC, this team is practically a playoff lock. Even if that did happen, we just saw Amari Cooper get 14 targets. While Chark wasn’t as involved in the Jags week one win, Minshew looked terrific. To top all that off, Kareem Hunt had 17 touches for the Browns, about as much as you can ask for out of a flex player. Not only is the team top-heavy, but they are middle-heavy too. Nowhere to go but down from here.

Fart Masseuse | 1-0W/L | 111PF

I get to play my #1 and #2 ranked teams in back-to-back weeks to open the season in classic Callen luck. K-Man also has a fantastic roster that is pretty well complete top to bottom. CEH is a potential league winner if he can get in the endzone on the goal-line, and David Montgomery looks like he’ll only miss one week of action. The only knock I can find right now is Calvin Ridley showing up in concussion protocol days after the Falcons played. Kind of worrying, but I hope he’s okay.

FEED ME 🥄 | 1-0W/L | 98PF

Mark still has a very solid team, but I see some cracks forming. Dak will be good, Zeke and Chubb will be good, and I think CeeDee will be a solid flex all year. I initially ranked him high because of the target shares I thought would be coming back to Thielen and Kupp. The Vikings barely threw the ball last week, and Kupp only had five targets. I’m not overreacting to the first week of the season, but its something to keep an eye on. JK Dobbins also only had seven carries for 22 yards, which isn’t great considering how amazing the rushing attack is in Baltimore. It’s only his first professional game. He could still emerge as a super valuable player.

Court is in Sutton | 1-0W/L | 127PF

I have to give credit to a team that hits the top score in week one. But I still think this team outperformed its talent this week. Kamara had 16 yards on 12 carries but was saved by two TDs. Raheem Mostert also averaged under four yards per carry but was saved by a 76-yard reception and a TD. This week there were rumors of Allen Robinson potentially demanding a trade from Chicago. I have to give credit where its due. Not a bad team by any means, but not stable enough yet to be ranked at the top.

Zug My Balls | 0-1W/L | 115PF

The team had a solid outing this week. Josh Jacobs was the #1 fantasy player of the week. Gurley had a good first half in Atlanta but cooled off in the second. JuJu scored a couple of tuddies in Pittsburgh’s opener. Lots of touchdowns scoring helped prop up the team this week. I am interested to see if it can sustain throughout the season. You also got my #1 waiver pickup this week in Benny Snell. If Conner is out for a long time, he could be crazy valuable. We’ll see if the hefty waiver claim pays off.

These rankings are trash | 1-0W/L | 107PF

This team is exactly what I thought they’d be through week one. The receivers and Mark Andrews crushed it. The RBs were pretty much butt. It just seems like a super mids team, and there’s nothing else much to say.

🏆‼️ | 1-0W/L | 100PF

Travis hit the 100 point mark this week, so I’m just ranking him at #7 because Caleb and Logan outscored him. The team is still solid. Cook got in the endzone. Kenyan Drake looks like he’ll still get volume even with the increased focus on Nuk in Arizona. Now Miles Sanders is coming back for the Eagles. I initially thought this team could jump to elite status if Lockett and Parker started getting the ball. Lockett did have eight catches for nearly 100 yards but didn’t find the endzone in week one. Parker only had four targets total, and Fitzmagic looked not great. Still, there’s a lot to be excited about for this team.

Glizzy Guzzlers | 0-1W/L | 91PF

I wish there were more things to say about my team, but its pretty boring so far. Davante Adams should keep me competitive, but unless Aaron Jones and Ekeler come back into form, this team will be mediocre all year. Cam Akers didn’t look great in week one, but I’m still holding out hope. I need someone to have a reason to sign Davonta Freeman already to give me another RB option.

Waiver Wire Burrow | 0-1W/L | 83PF

Derrick Henry’s big ass touched the football 34 times in week one. What the hell is that about? Outside of that, I wasn’t super impressed by anyone. Mark Ingram had pedestrian numbers. Diggs did total nearly 100 yards, so maybe that’s something. Juice looks like he’s in for a rough year if Baker keeps playing so poorly. I’d say you could also hang your hat on Kittle, but he’s missed practice all week due to a knee injury. Things are looking shaky, but still plenty of potential.

The Mixon Administration | 0-1W/L | 79PF

John gets to jump Carl this week due to many injury concerns, but his team is still not in great shape either. The Julio/Mixon/Rus trio will keep him out of the basement, but otherwise, there’s not a lot to love here. Golladay is going to miss his second straight week, and Marlon Mack is done for the year. OBJ is still a mids player while Baker sucks, and DJ Moore did not look good in week one. There’s still a long way to go for this team.

Uncle Cral's Little Dogs | 0-1W/L | 56PF

Woo boy. Talk about ups and downs. I’m even less sure about what Carl’s team is this week than in the first power rankings. Lamar Jackson is a potential MVP candidate again based on week one performance. He looked even better than in 2019. Carl also picked up two rookies starting RBs that he got at discount prices: Taylor and Robinson. But damn, he got hurt badly in other places. James Conner is still fragile and uncertain. AJ Brown did not get anywhere near the play that everyone thought he would, and he’s now injured. Michael Thomas also got a whole three catches this year, and now he’s going to miss several weeks with an ankle injury. I hate to see teams eliminated from the playoffs this early in the season, but between Lamar/Taylor/Robinson/Allen, you should be able to ruin some seasons along the way.

Cant print points | 0-1W/L | 81PF

This team is butt. Saquon averaged under half a yard per rush in week one. Levon is now on IR. Mike Evans is coming back from a hamstring injury that always heals up perfectly and never nags players for an entire season, right? In all seriousness, this team is still pretty average talent-wise. Outside of that RB2 spot, there’s not a lot of outstanding needs. I still don’t trust Trond enough yet.