John's Week Two 2022 Power Rankings
Fullmetal Ekelerist | 1-1W/L | 201PF
Week Two Points: 121.5
It was a close race for first place, but I'm giving Callen a slight edge. He's been building for a while, and it's finally paying off. His efforts are stacked. Everything has just been pulling together nicely. The beard is strong, but the flow is where Callen got my #1 vote. It's thick and luscious; enough said.
Fantasy ranking, I guess, #7. Callen wins comeback player of the week with a strong showing in week two. Minus a TE egg, he had a very round performance, getting some boom numbers from Jones. The big question is if this team can stay consistent.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Justin Herbert | LAC-QB | 1 |
| Austin Ekeler | LAC-RB | 1 |
| David Montgomery | CHI-RB | 1 |
| CeeDee Lamb | DAL-WR | 1 |
| Jahan Dotson | WAS-WR | 1 |
| Dalton Schultz | DAL-TE | 1 |
| Aaron Jones | GB-RB | 1 |
| Allen Lazard | GB-WR | 1 (O) |
| Cleveland Browns | CLE-DEF |
Cheeseburger Lenny | 1-1W/L | 228PF
Week Two Points: 117.8
Chris is a close second, also with the nice flow. I'll admit my length bias here. Any man who is bold enough to let it flow gets points in my book. The beard is also strong, another complete package.
TWIATH: #5. Chris is looking solid, even with some room for improvement. He has a reasonably high floor. Waddle going off this week also didn't hurt.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Kyler Murray | ARI-QB | 1 |
| Joe Mixon | CIN-RB | 1 |
| Leonard Fournette | TB-RB | 1 |
| Jaylen Waddle | MIA-WR | 1 |
| Tee Higgins | CIN-WR | 1 (Q) |
| Robert Tonyan | GB-TE | 2 |
| Rashaad Penny | SEA-RB | 1 |
| Kareem Hunt | CLE-RB | 2 |
| Green Bay Packers | GB-DEF |
Unaccredited Chili Guy | 1-1W/L | 229PF
Week Two Points: 108.5
These rankings couldn’t have been more biased against my top drawer team.
A strong case could be made for Trond at #1, but I'm going with my recency bias and beard bias and putting Callen and Chris ahead. The flow is also majestic with Trond, though.
TWIATH: #8. Trond is still looking in great shape, even if it's boom or bust. Between the former dynamic duo of Mahomes and Hill, he has a ton of upside. I'm not sure why Trond didn't draft any RBs though., though.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Patrick Mahomes | KC-QB | 1 |
| Miles Sanders | PHI-RB | 1 |
| Cordarrelle Patterson | ATL-RB | 1 |
| Davante Adams | LV-WR | 1 |
| Tyreek Hill | MIA-WR | 1 |
| Pat Freiermuth | PIT-TE | 1 |
| Michael Carter | NYJ-RB | 1 |
| Tyler Boyd | CIN-WR | 1 |
| Los Angeles Rams | LAR-DEF |
My Hero Alvin Kamaria | 1-1W/L | 197PF
Week Two Points: 92.3
Rounding out the long-haired tier 1 bois is Logan, who has yet again had a very nice flow. How does one-third of our league have this going for them? Once again, the lack of a beard keeps Logz from the top spots.
TWIATH: #10. Logz is staying above 90 points, but that's about it. How long can he ride TB's defense?
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Joe Burrow | CIN-QB | 1 |
| Mark Ingram | NO-RB | 2 |
| Damien Harris | NE-RB | 1 |
| A.J. Brown | PHI-WR | 1 |
| Terry McLaurin | WAS-WR | 1 |
| Dallas Goedert | PHI-TE | 1 |
| Robbie Anderson | CAR-WR | 1 |
| Gabe Davis | BUF-WR | 1 |
| Tampa Bay Buccaneers | TB-DEF |
Derrick on Titan | 1-1W/L | 159PF
Week Two Points: 93.8
Between the curls and thickness, Claeb takes the top non-long-hair bois spot. It's just a good head of hair. Maybe he could compete for the top spot if the full curl-fro was grown out. 10/10 beard as well.
TWIATH: #12. With a two-week PF under 160, not much can be done now. John Albert Elway Jr. is disappointed in you.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Russell Wilson | DEN-QB | 1 |
| Derrick Henry | TEN-RB | 1 |
| Josh Jacobs | LV-RB | 1 |
| Mike Williams | LAC-WR | 1 |
| Jerry Jeudy | DEN-WR | 1 |
| Kyle Pitts | ATL-TE | 1 |
| Allen Robinson | LAR-WR | 1 |
| Rhamondre Stevenson | NE-RB | 2 |
| Buffalo Bills | BUF-DEF |
Saquon deez nuts | 2-0W/L | 231PF
Week Two Points: 115.8
Carlos comes in at a solid performance, maintaining a solid head of hair and strong performance from the five o'clock shadow beard.
TWIATH: #2. Somehow, the lone undefeated team, Carlos, is still looking solid. Although slightly off the PF lead, he's been the most consistent. It will be hard to keep him from a solid bye-worthy record.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Aaron Rodgers | GB-QB | 1 |
| Saquon Barkley | NYG-RB | 1 |
| Clyde Edwards-Helaire | KC-RB | 1 |
| Mike Evans | TB-WR | 1 |
| Michael Thomas | NO-WR | 1 |
| Zach Ertz | ARI-TE | 1 |
| Antonio Gibson | WAS-RB | 1 |
| James Robinson | JAX-RB | 2 |
| San Francisco 49ers | SF-DEF |
Najeeruto | 1-1W/L | 224PF
Week Two Points: 133.8
brb booking an Airbnb on the Branson strip for next August.
Matt rounds out the full-hair boys with a solid head of hair once again paired with a great beard. Nothing to complain about here. It was looking especially fresh in those wedding photos.
TWIATH: #6. I'll give K-Man some recency credit and bump him up here to the sixth spot. With the #1 WR in Diggs currently and the #3 TE in Waller, he has a lot of potential. He'll have to stay on this boom train to make the playoffs.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Matthew Stafford | LAR-QB | 1 |
| Najee Harris | PIT-RB | 1 (Q) |
| Travis Etienne | JAX-RB | 1 |
| Drake London | ATL-WR | 1 |
| Hunter Renfrow | LV-WR | 1 |
| Darren Waller | LV-TE | 1 |
| Stefon Diggs | BUF-WR | 1 |
| AJ Dillon | GB-RB | 2 |
| New England Patriots | NE-DEF |
Dragonball Zeke | 1-1W/L | 240PF
Week Two Points: 113.5
Why are the bald bros towards the end of the list? What injustice is this? Is the mainstream media creating a bias against those more follically challenged? Do I need to step back and reflect on my unconscious pro-hair biases? Probably. Anyway, Scottie takes the top spot here due to the epic beard. Once again, the tie goes to length.
TWIATH: #4. Although a little more boom-heavy like myself, Scottie is in a great spot with the #1 RB and #1 QB. If the rest of his lineup catches up to his big boys, this team is very scary.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Josh Allen | BUF-QB | 1 |
| Nick Chubb | CLE-RB | 1 |
| Ezekiel Elliott | DAL-RB | 1 |
| Justin Jefferson | MIN-WR | 1 |
| Deebo Samuel | SF-WR | 1 |
| T.J. Hockenson | DET-TE | 1 |
| Diontae Johnson | PIT-WR | 1 |
| Darrell Henderson | LAR-RB | 1 |
| Pittsburgh Steelers | PIT-DEF |
Travis, Mark, and Carl. I can't choose between these three, so I'm calling it a tie. All these bald men are beautiful. Their beards are strong and thick. They're fit—the full bald package.
Jalen the Super Saiyan | 1-1W/L | 241PF
Week Two Points: 111.7
TWIATH Travis: #1. With the most PF (by 0.11), I'm taking Tarv for the #1 spot this week. With the #3 QB and the #2 RB, Tarv should be watched closely.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Jalen Hurts | PHI-QB | 1 |
| Dalvin Cook | MIN-RB | 1 |
| D'Andre Swift | DET-RB | 1 |
| Rashod Bateman | BAL-WR | 1 |
| JuJu Smith-Schuster | KC-WR | 1 (Q) |
| Dawson Knox | BUF-TE | 1 |
| Javonte Williams | DEN-RB | 1 |
| DeVonta Smith | PHI-WR | 1 |
| Denver Broncos | DEN-DEF |
Dollar General Box Fans | 1-1W/L | 182PF
Week Two Points: 101.9
TWIATH Mark: #9. Mark is in a good spot, even though the numbers aren't there yet. He can do some damage in the long run with a solid RB core. St. Brown is currently on fire, so that's nice.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Tom Brady | TB-QB | 1 |
| Christian McCaffrey | CAR-RB | 1 |
| James Conner | ARI-RB | 1 |
| Amon-Ra St. Brown | DET-WR | 1 |
| Marquise Brown | ARI-WR | 1 |
| Gerald Everett | LAC-TE | 1 |
| Chase Edmonds | MIA-RB | 1 |
| Devin Duvernay | BAL-WR | 1 |
| Baltimore Ravens | BAL-DEF |
JoJo's Ja'Marr Adventure | 0-2W/L | 177PF
Week Two Points: 78.3
I'm starting to worry about my team.
TWIATH Carl: #11. It was a rough week for Cral, not even breaking the 80-point mark. A couple of well-worded Instagram DMs to his player can get them up to playing to their potential.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Kirk Cousins | MIN-QB | 1 |
| Rex Burkhead | HOU-RB | 1 |
| Melvin Gordon | DEN-RB | 2 |
| Chase Claypool | PIT-WR | 1 |
| Cooper Kupp | LAR-WR | 1 |
| Travis Kelce | KC-TE | 1 |
| Jeff Wilson | SF-RB | 1 |
| Ja'Marr Chase | CIN-WR | 1 |
| Cincinnati Bengals | CIN-DEF |
Taylor Moon | 1-1W/L | 239PF
Week Two Points: 137.7
Welp, here I am. Stuck in between two worlds. The front is doing alright, but the back is retreating quickly. I probably should shave it. But I can't yet, you know? I'm just not ready to take that step. For that reason, I will sit here in my last-place ranking with a decent beard.
TWIATH: #3. I may not stay here, but I'm in a good spot. With Lamar's high ceiling, Andrews's productivity, JT in the waiting, and three top-25 WRs, things aren't looking bad.
| Name | Team | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Lamar Jackson | BAL-QB | 1 |
| Jonathan Taylor | IND-RB | 1 |
| Cam Akers | LAR-RB | 2 |
| DJ Moore | CAR-WR | 1 |
| Courtland Sutton | DEN-WR | 1 |
| Mark Andrews | BAL-TE | 1 |
| Brandin Cooks | HOU-WR | 1 |
| Christian Kirk | JAX-WR | 1 |
| Indianapolis Colts | IND-DEF |